A Scientific Analysis
Mostly By Woody Pryor

QESTION No. 1: When in my hooch or bunker and there is 152mm incoming, should I put my boots on first before running to the bunker?

ANSWER: It's optional, even if HQ brass are in the bunker first--being out of uniform is okay.
QUESTION No. 2: How Much Time Do I Have?

ANSWER: If it's 82mm, then finish your coffee and then walk over to the bunker.
ANSWER: If it's our USAF, Marines AF, or Navy AF, they always drop their napalm first, hold your breath.
ANSWER: But if it's US Army Artillery, don't worry, they always hit what they aim for--almost all of the time.
ANSWER (and finally): And if it's NVA 130mm, you didn't have time to think about it anyway.
QUESTION No. 3: Is it Enemy Incoming or Friendly Outgoing?

ANSWER: If you are uncertain and feel compelled to ask whether it is incoming or outgoing, you will be safe in assuming that it is outgoing.